Car Accident step by step process Part 14: Understanding MedPay

The more I treat the more I get.....not true.  Insurance companies have a pre-determined amount that each injury is worth.....so if you treat the injury more than you should than less money will come to you....unless you have a powerful Attorney to fight this!

Gotta love Colorado:  You are allowed to "sign off" on MedPay. 



MedPay:  A type of auto insurance covering medical and funeral expenses resulting from an accident for the policyholder and any passengers riding with the policyholder. MedPay also covers the policyholder for any accident in which he is a pedestrian. MedPay provides coverage regardless of who is at fault. (Investorwords.com). 

Here's what most people do not know....

.......MedPay is PAID BACK out of your settlement....UNLESS you have an Attorney who fights for you.  When I was told this, honestly, I was shocked!! 

When you sign on for auto insurance and do not "opt out" you are automatically signed up for $5,000 MedPay (Colorado....please check your state policies).  

The good thing about MedPay is it kicks in immediately.  The bad thing is it is not closely looked at so if you visit an "unscrupulous" Doctor your MedPay can be used up very quickly....and as I said earlier....it is normally paid back out of your settlement.

We talked about Policy Limits so let's assume you have the Colorado minimum requirements of $25,000/$50,000 with $25,000 MedPay.  The person who hits you has the same minimum policy limits.  You are seriously injured and your MedPay is exhausted.  You have to have surgery and will have scars the rest of your life.  Bye Bye settlement.  

First thing you need to do is check what your policy limits are.
Second check what your MedPay is.
Third:  If you are ever injured in a car accident TALK TO A Personal Injury Attorney.  They will fight for your MedPay and they will have referral Doctor's that won't abuse the MedPay so you have more money for treatment.





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Pueblo Office: 113 W. 12th Street  (Map it)

Colorado Springs Office:  422 E. Vermijo Ave., Suite 412 (Map it)

Car Accident step by step process Part 6: Contingency fees explained

A contingency fee is defined as any commission, percentage, brokerage, or other fee that is contingent upon a favorable legislative result.  (NCSL)

We've all heard on the commercials "you don't owe us anything unless we win your case."

So what does this mean for you?  The most common use of contingency fees are auto accidents.  You enter into an agreement with the Attorney to take you case and the Attorney will receive a percentage of what your award is.

This is a great way for those who cannot afford Attorney fees UPFRONT to still get representation.  For example:  you are involved in a car accident and enter into a contingency fee agreement.  The Attorney will pay the expenses through the duration of your case (or set up arrangements for those expenses to be paid out of the proceeds of your award) so you are not out any money.  In auto accidents all policies are different and all claims are handled differently so I can explain by my experience.  My policy limits are $100,000.  I enter into a contingency agreement for 35%.  It cost the Attorney $10,000 to gather information.....and let me tell you this is not cheap,

see example of costs at the Letric Law Library sample number 7:   COSTS. Attorney will advance all "costs" in connection with Attorney's representation of Client under this agreement. Attorney will be reimbursed out of the recovery before any distribution of fees to Attorney or any distribution to Client. If there is no recovery, or the recovery is insufficient to reimburse Attorney in full for costs advanced, Attorney will bear the loss. Costs include, but are not limited to, court filing fees, deposition costs, expert fees and expenses, investigation costs, long-distance telephone charges, messenger service fees, photocopying expenses, and process server fees. Items that are not to be considered costs, and that must be paid by Client without being either advanced or contributed to by Attorney, include, but are not limited to, Client's medical expenses and other parties' costs, if any, that Client is ultimately required to pay.

When you win, and only if you win, does the Attorney get paid.  In this case $100,000.  $10,000 is reimbursed to the Attorney.  You now have $90,000 to work with.  The Letric Law Library has a sample agreement (see number 5 for Attorney fees).

Each Attorney and/or firm have their own agreements the agreement provided here is just to be used as an example.

Contingency fees are not allowed in all types of cases and each State regulates this.  For example:  In a divorce with children...if an Attorney were allowed to accept a contingency fee on the outcome of how much child support or alimony is awarded how would the Attorney collect on years of monthly payments and how fair would it be to all the parties to have Attorney's collect forever.

Don't be swayed by the Personal Injury Attorney commercials that say you won't pay a dime if we don't win...they all do this.  It gets your attention and you call not realizing that they all do.  Now you know....find the Attorney that YOU want and will fight for YOU!!

It will cost you NOTHING to meet with a Personal Injury Attorney!  It may cost you A LOT not to! 

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Pueblo Office: 113 W. 12th Street  (Map it)

Colorado Springs Office:  422 E. Vermijo Ave., Suite 412 (Map it)

What is your injury worth?

According to the Colorado Department of Motor Vehicles injury damages are split into three categories:

1. Economic Damages:  These are your medical bills, lost wages (both present and future) and general "real" expenses.
2. Non-Economic Damages:  These are the "what-if's" you may experience from a car accident.  Other things that fall into this category are pain and suffering, loss of quality of life and emotional distress.
3. Physical Disfigurement and Impairment:  Consequences and costs of irreparable physical harm or permanent disability.

Let's look at the Economic Damages:  This is simple.  Your medical bills are your medical bills, your lost wages are your lost wages and all other expenses are just that.  Simple.

Non-Economic Damages are where the insurance companies love to muddy the water.  This is when you need an Attorney!  The insurance company is not going to agree to the loss of quality of life because they don't want to believe you have one.  The insurance company is not going to believe you have any pain and suffering because you are seeing a Doctor that they are paying for.  And emotional distress....they are just going to tell you to get over it.

Physical Disfigurement and Impairment is another way insurance companies will tell you that you are worth less than you are.  If you need surgery it's covered under Economic Damages....but what about the scar that it leaves?

When you are involved in a car accident you need to hire an Attorney who KNOWS what you are worth and will fight for it.

Zeisler & Associates, Attorney At Law, PC is just that firm!  Specializing and exclusive to Personal Injury cases only.  Visit their website for more information.

Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION: Animal Abuse

This topic is near and dear to my heart.  I cannot stress enough how horrible and sickening abusing animals is so please bare with me in this blog as it is going to be difficult to write.


A person who would abuse an animal has no soul!!  It is one of biggest types of abuse and one of the most preventable!!  The most common animals to face abuse are cats and dogs.  People use them for target practice, they use them for dog fights, they starve them, the list goes on and on.  Animal abusers come in all shapes, sizes and backgrounds.

The following information is copied from NowPublic.com

What to Look for in Animal Abuse and Cruelty in Cats and Dogs:

• Malnutrition
• Hair Loss
• Unexplained injuries, health problems or permanent disabilities
• Being left in extreme heat for more than 15 minutes
• Animal Hoarding
• Engaging in dog or cock fighting or attending the "games"
• Shock collar, electric fences and prong collar training

Animal Cruelty Statistics

• Each year, 10,000 bull dogs die in bullfighting.
• Women in abusive relationships often don't leave their abuser because they worry what will happen to their pet if they leave.
• 13% of animal abuse involves domestic violence.
• 70% of animal abusers also have records of other crimes.
• 3 to 4 million cats and dogs (young, healthy and adoptable) are euthanized every year in shelters. 
• Animals that aren't euthanized are often sent to no-kill shelters where the animals are caged for days, weeks, months or years and the animals risk becoming insane and dying of loneliness.

Ways to Prevent Animal Cruelty

• Know who to contact in your area if you suspect animal abuse. You can call your local police department for the information.
• Teach your kids and other children how to treat animals and to respect them as living creatures like ourselves.
• Support the local shelter or society and get to know the work they are involved in. 
• Take care of the animals you have. If you don't want kittens or puppies, spay or neuter your animals or don't let them around other animals while they are outside.
• Donate to local shelters, pet abuse organizations or the ASPCA.

I have to tell you a story.  A story of a beautiful dog named Corona.  Corona's owner shot her.  This owner opened her mouth and shot her.  I won't share the picture of her when she went into the shelter but I will share this video of her after many people stepped in to save her.  Although her story ended well, most don't. You can stay updated on her recovery here.  If you see any type of animal abuse PLEASE call the authorities.  Animal Abuse is a CRIME in all 50 states.  Anyone who will abuse an animal can start to abuse the people around them.  

Sign the petition today to expose animal abusers!!

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Words that can hurt you after a car accident...more than your injuries

You are driving down the street and the next thing you know you are face in your airbag.  You've been hit by someone.  You don't know what happened.  What should you do?

Keep your mouth shut!!

"Insurance companies didn't get to be $15 billion and $20 billion (companies) because they give money away," says John Smith of Morgan Hubble Smith Insurance, based in Columbus, Ohio.

What happened? Is usually the first question asked by the first responders; police, fire department, paramedics, EMT's, witnesses to the accident, etc.  What you say can be twisted to whatever the insurance company wants, remember they didn't get to be a $15 billion dollar company because they want to take care of you!

No matter what the situation is.....keep your mouth shut.  When the adjuster comes out...keep your mouth shut.  They are looking for "key" words or phrases that can and will be used against you.  Don't discuss anything personal: "I just lost my job" or "I just broke up with....." NOTHING!!

"People talk too much. Your best advice is to make sure everyone is OK and then say nothing," says Smith, who's been in the insurance industry for 27 years.

Car accidents are a very stressful situation to be in.  It is natural to "talk" because you are nervous.  But....you don't want what you say to hurt your claim and, trust me, if they can manipulate what is said, to their advantage, they will.

Don't apologize...this can be construed as an admission of guilt.  I have been in two car accidents, neither of which was my fault, and I can tell you...the first thing out of my mouth on the first one was "I'm sorry" meaning just that...not that I was guilty but I was sorry the accident happened.  That was a hurdle that we should not have had to jump through....but it did teach me for the car accident that happened later.  

So, what can you do? 

• Get to a safe place
• Make sure everyone is okay
• Call the police and, if needed, an ambulance
• Have your driver's license, registration, and auto insurance (Everything they need to know about you is on these items)
• SAY NOTHING!!!
• Call an Attorney

Learn from other's mistakes!  

If you are injured in a Colorado car accident I highly recommend (from personal experience):

Zeisler & Associates, Attorneys at Law, PC on Facebook or visit their website for more information.

If you have a horror story about your car accident or if you have hired Zeisler & Associates, Attorneys at Law, PC please tell me about your experience.

Understanding MedPay?

The more I treat the more I get.....not true.  Insurance companies have a pre-determined amount that each injury is worth.....so if you treat the injury more than you should than less money will come to you....unless you have a powerful Attorney to fight this!

Gotta love Colorado:  You are allowed to "sign off" on MedPay. 




MedPay:  A type of auto insurance covering medical and funeral expenses resulting from an accident for the policyholder and any passengers riding with the policyholder. MedPay also covers the policyholder for any accident in which he is a pedestrian. MedPay provides coverage regardless of who is at fault. (Investorwords.com). 

Here's what most people do not know....

.......MedPay is PAID BACK out of your settlement....UNLESS you have an Attorney who fights for you.  When I was told this, honestly, I was shocked!! 

When you sign on for auto insurance and do not "opt out" you are automatically signed up for $5,000 MedPay (Colorado....please check your state policies).  

The good thing about MedPay is it kicks in immediately.  The bad thing is it is not closely looked at so if you visit an "unscrupulous" Doctor your MedPay can be used up very quickly....and as I said earlier....it is normally paid back out of your settlement.

We talked about Policy Limits so let's assume you have the Colorado minimum requirements of $25,000/$50,000 with $25,000 MedPay.  The person who hits you has the same minimum policy limits.  You are seriously injured and your MedPay is exhausted.  You have to have surgery and will have scars the rest of your life.  Bye Bye settlement.  

First thing you need to do is check what your policy limits are.
Second check what your MedPay is.
Third:  If you are ever injured in a car accident TALK TO A Personal Injury Attorney.  They will fight for your MedPay and they will have referral Doctor's that won't abuse the MedPay so you have more money for treatment.

Previous blog on MedPay

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Labor Day: Don't drink and drive

How many drinks would it take to be considered drunk? Too drunk to drive? Have you ever wondered....okay have you ever wondered this BEFORE you started drinking and not after?





Okay, one (1) drink per hour is a safe calculation.....it's too hot after that long.

Here is a calculator that tells you (estimate) what your BAC (Blood Alcohol Count) would be after so many drinks in so many hours.....COOL!! BUT.....I just learned that if I have four (4) beers at 6% alcohol in 2 1/12 hours oops DUI. This shocked me because when I have four (4) beers at 6% alcohol in 2 1/2 hours I FEEL FINE....I guess that's where the impairment comes in huh?

So here's the thing. No one wants you to drive drunk or impaired....even bar owners. If you aren't safe you won't return, am I right? It used to be called a $10,000 DUI...well those days are over because the with the increase of insurance, legal fees, fines, bail it could be up to $25,000 when you are finished.....that is $6250.00 PER BEER I just had. MSN has a breakdown of most fees that may be incurred with a DUI. (MSN Money arrive alive).

It is important that if you are going to be drinking please do not drive. Get a designated driver, call a cab or call a friend (hopefully not the friend who was sitting next to you drinking with you). I am going to have to call someone or have a designated driver as the calculator says I am allowed two (2) beers at 6% alcohol in a 2 1/2 hour time span.

Labor Day is a great day to celebrate...just do it safe!!

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What is aggressive driving

We have all gotten angry while driving.  We have all either honked, or wanted to honk, at someone who has cut us off.  Some of us have actually given a few "gestures" while passing someone who has angered us on the road.

Matthew Joint, Head of Behavioral Analysis, states that in 1995 tailgating was the most common form of "road rage" followed closely flashing your headlights at someone.

Statistics show that 250,000 people have died in traffic since 1990. It is believed that two-thirds of these deaths are at least partially caused by aggressive driving, although only 218 were found to be a direct cause of angry drivers. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), 66 percent of all annual traffic fatalities are caused by aggressive driving actions, such as passing on the right, running red lights and tailgating. In addition to fatalities, there have been an estimated 20 million injuries; 12,610 caused by aggressive driving. These numbers show that there has been a 51 percent increase in aggressive driving incidents since 1990. Of these incidents, 37 percent involved the use of a firearm, 28 percent involved other weapons, and 35 percent involved the use of a car as a weapon. Related to this increase in aggressive driving incidents may be the fact that the number of drivers on the road is increasing; as of 1990, 91 percent of people drove to work.

This video is a minor incident of road rage but it's these minor incidents that, if they happen with the wrong person, could lead to car accident injuries or death.

In this video it was very fortunate that no one was injured or killed by this person who displayed extreme road rage.

Dr. John A. Larson, author of Steering Clear of Highway Madness, groups aggressive drivers into five categories: Speeders, passive aggressors, narcissists, vigilantes, and competitors. Several characteristics are related to the most typical aggressive driver: being under 35, single, no education and a mid-level income. Furthermore, although women are more likely to confess to angry driving, men are more likely to participate in true “road rage”, in which an angry driver intentionally harms another driver. Whether or not an aggressive driver takes physical action depends on the degree of anger he or she feels. “If someone pulls out in front of you or cuts you off, you may be justified at four or five on a scale of 10…if you’re up to seven to 10, though, that’s an exaggerated response,” says Larson.
Redford Williams, M.D., at Duke University, points to a hostile personality type as an indicator of someone who is more likely to get angry quicker. “They are also four to seven times more likely to die of other health problems by age 50 than are even-tempered people,” said Williams. For example, people with long drives to work are found to have higher blood pressure than people who take shorter routes to work. One frustrated commuter states, “it feels unnatural to forget about the jerk riding my tail or ducking in front of me to save half a second and some drivers—not me, of course – respond to overaggressive road behavior as if piloting a car were a contest. They drive to ‘win’ rather than simply to get to their destination.”

If you are an aggressive driver pay close attention to what Dr. John A. Larson says:  there is a reason you are an aggressive driver and it could be because of other issues in your life that could lead to health problems.

If you are a victim caught in the crosswinds of an aggressive driver remain calm and get away from the driver.  Never pull over in a deserted area.  Get the license plate of the aggressive driver and if you have a cell phone call 911.

Remember, no one's life is worth a little anger.  No death is acceptable under these conditions.  Please drive safe.



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Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION: Suicide

I can't imagine there is anyone who doesn't know someone who has attempted suicide, committed suicide or has lost someone to suicide.  




When things get tough...sometimes people don't see any other option.  It has to be a difficult situation to be in.  It's horrible for the person who attempts or commits suicide and it's horrible for their family and friends who are left with unanswered questions.




The following statistics are from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the information belongs to them:  

National Statistics

General

• Over 36,000 people in the United States die by suicide every year.
• In 2009 (latest available data), there were 36,909 reported suicide deaths.
• Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for adults between the ages of 18 and 65 years in the United States.
• Currently, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States.
• A person dies by suicide about every 15 minutes in the United States.
• Every day, approximately 101 Americans take their own life.
• Ninety percent of all people who die by suicide have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder at the time of their death.
• There are four male suicides for every female suicide, but three times as many females as males attempt suicide.
• There are an estimated 8-25 attempted suicides for every suicide death.

Youth

• Suicide is the sixth leading cause of death among those 5-14 years old.
• Suicide is the third leading cause of death among those 15-24 years old.
• Between the mid-1950s and the late 1970s, the suicide rate among U.S. males aged 15-24 more than tripled (from 6.3 per 100,000 in 1955 to 21.3 in 1977). Among females aged 15-24, the rate more than doubled during this period (from 2.0 to 5.2). The youth suicide rate generally leveled off during the 1980s and early 1990s, and since the mid-1990s has been steadily decreasing.
• Between 1980-1996, the suicide rate for African-American males aged 15-19 has also doubled.
• Risk factors for suicide among the young include suicidal thoughts, psychiatric disorders (such as depression, impulsive aggressive behavior, bipolar disorder, certain anxiety disorders), drug and/or alcohol abuse and previous suicide attempts, with the risk increased if there is situational stress and access to firearms.

Older People

• The suicide rates for men rise with age, most significantly after age 65.
• The rate of suicide in men 65+ is seven times that of females who are 65+.
• The suicide rates for women peak between the ages of 45-54 years old, and again after age 75.
• About 60 percent of elderly patients who take their own lives see their primary care physician within a few months of their death.
• Six to 9 percent of older Americans who are in a primary care setting suffer from major depression.
• More than 30 percent of patients suffering from major depression report suicidal ideation.
• Risk factors for suicide among the elderly include: a previous attempt, the presence of a mental illness, the presence of a physical illness, social isolation (some studies have shown this is especially so in older males who are recently widowed) and access to means, such as the availability of firearms in the home.

What are the warning signs for suicide?  (Copied from the Cleveland Clinic)

1. Following are some of the possible warning signs that a person may be at risk for suicide:
2. Excessive sadness or moodiness — Long-lasting sadness and mood swings can be symptoms of depression, a major risk factor for suicide.
3. Sudden calmness — Suddenly becoming calm after a period of depression or moodiness can be a sign that the person has made a decision to end his or her life.
4. Withdrawal — Choosing to be alone and avoiding friends or social activities also are possible symptoms of depression. This includes the loss of interest or pleasure in activities the person previously enjoyed.
5. Changes in personality and/or appearance — A person who is considering suicide might exhibit a change in attitude or behavior, such as speaking or moving with unusual speed or slowness. In addition, the person might suddenly become less concerned about his or her personal appearance.
6. Dangerous or self-harmful behavior — Potentially dangerous behavior, such as reckless driving, engaging in unsafe sex, and increased use of drugs and/or alcohol might indicate that the person no longer values his or her life.
7. Recent trauma or life crisis — A major life crises might trigger a suicide attempt. Crises include the death of a loved one or pet, divorce or break-up of a relationship, diagnosis of a major illness, loss of a job, or serious financial problems.
8. Making preparations — Often, a person considering suicide will begin to put his or her personal business in order. This might include visiting friends and family members, giving away personal possessions, making a will, and cleaning up his or her room or home. Some people will write a note before committing suicide.
9. Threatening suicide — Not everyone who is considering suicide will say so, and not everyone who threatens suicide will follow through with it. However, every threat of suicide should be taken seriously.

What should I do if someone I know is talking about committing suicide?

1. If someone you know is threatening suicide, take the threat seriously.
2. Do not leave the person alone. If possible, ask for help from friends or other family members.
3. Ask the person to give you any weapons he or she might have. Take away sharp objects or anything else that the person could use to hurt himself or herself.
4. Try to keep the person as calm as possible.
5. Call 911 or take the person to an emergency room.

Suicide is a silent killer....if it wasn't silent we could prevent more of them.  Often we don't even realize a person is thinking of suicide.  Maybe if we understand the statistics and signs to watch out for we can be part of the solution.

Great song about suicide and tribute to some who have lost their lives. Please watch, listen and learn.  Be strong, be aware and be part of the solution.

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Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION: Child abuse and neglect

Five (5) children each DAY die of child abuse or neglect.  (Childhelp)

3.3 million reports
6 million children abused

The numbers are staggering.  We are supposed to be a civilized Country but we are destroying our future by destroying our children.

Copied directly from Childhelp website:  (This information belongs to Childhelp.  For more information you can go directly to their page)

• A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
• *More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.² 
• Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4. ¹
• It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates. ³
• More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way. ⁴
• Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
• About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. ⁵
• About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. ⁵
• The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States for 2008 is $124 billion. ⁶

• 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children. ⁷
• 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. ⁷
• Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent crime. ⁵
• 
  

• Abused children are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy. ⁵
• Abused teens are less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for STDs. 

• One-third to two-thirds of child maltreatment cases involve substance use to some degree. ⁸
• Children whose parents abuse alcohol and other drugs are three times more likely to be abused and more than four times more likely to be neglected than children from non-abusing families. ⁸
• As many as two-thirds of the people in treatment for drug abuse reported being abused or neglected as children. ¹⁰
• 
  

Signs of Child Abuse and Neglect:

Recognizing Child Abuse (Copied directly from U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.  This information belongs to them)

The following signs may signal the presence of child abuse or neglect.
The Child:

• Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance
• Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parents' attention
• Has learning problems (or difficulty concentrating) that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes
• Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen
• Lacks adult supervision
• Is overly compliant, passive, or withdrawn
• Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home

The Parent:

• Shows little concern for the child
• Denies the existence of—or blames the child for—the child's problems in school or at home
• Asks teachers or other caregivers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves
• Sees the child as entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome
• Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
• Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of emotional needs

The Parent and Child:

• Rarely touch or look at each other
• Consider their relationship entirely negative
• State that they do not like each other

Types of Abuse

The following are some signs often associated with particular types of child abuse and neglect: physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. It is important to note, however, that these types of abuse are more typically found in combination than alone. A physically abused child, for example, is often emotionally abused as well, and a sexually abused child also may be neglected.

Signs of Physical Abuse

Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the child:
Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes
Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after an absence from school
Seems frightened of the parents and protests or cries when it is time to go home
Shrinks at the approach of adults
Reports injury by a parent or another adult caregiver

Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver:
Offers conflicting, unconvincing, or no explanation for the child's injury
Describes the child as "evil," or in some other very negative way
Uses harsh physical discipline with the child
Has a history of abuse as a child

Signs of Neglect

Consider the possibility of neglect when the child:
Is frequently absent from school
Begs or steals food or money
Lacks needed medical or dental care, immunizations, or glasses
Is consistently dirty and has severe body odor
Lacks sufficient clothing for the weather
Abuses alcohol or other drugs
States that there is no one at home to provide care

Consider the possibility of neglect when the parent or other adult caregiver:
Appears to be indifferent to the child
Seems apathetic or depressed
Behaves irrationally or in a bizarre manner
Is abusing alcohol or other drugs

Signs of Sexual Abuse

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the child:
Has difficulty walking or sitting
Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities
Reports nightmares or bedwetting
Experiences a sudden change in appetite
Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior
Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14
Runs away
Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver:
Is unduly protective of the child or severely limits the child's contact with other children, especially of the opposite sex
Is secretive and isolated
Is jealous or controlling with family members

Signs of Emotional Maltreatment

Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the child:
Shows extremes in behavior, such as overly compliant or demanding behavior, extreme passivity, or aggression
Is either inappropriately adult (parenting other children, for example) or inappropriately infantile (frequently rocking or head-banging, for example)
Is delayed in physical or emotional development
Has attempted suicide
Reports a lack of attachment to the parent

Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the parent or other adult caregiver:
Constantly blames, belittles, or berates the child
Is unconcerned about the child and refuses to consider offers of help for the child's problems
Overtly rejects the child

This is a lot of information...but it is information that can save a life!  I apologize for coping word for word but it is important that we all recognize & understand what is going, and honestly they said it best, on and be part of the solution!!

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Watch this video warning:  it is hearbreaking

Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION: Bullying

Before you read this click this link and listen to the song while your read.

What is a Bully?  What happens when a child is bullied?  

This is a growing problem with our children.  Do we blame the bully?  Do we blame the parent?  Do we blame society?  I believe that we all have some blame here....Even if you do not have a child.  How many times have we "watched" someone being bullied and did NOTHING!  If we do nothing than nothing will change.  

The following is taken from Dr. Phil's website about Bullying.  I love his approach and his advice so this is word for word on what he says:
Warning Signs of BullyingBullying is:
Intentional, aggressive behavior
Imbalance of power
Repeated over time
Physical, verbal intimidation
Exclusion
Cyber harassment
Warning signs that your child may be the victim of bullying:
1. Makes up excuses not to go to school
2. Is often angry, sad or depressed, withdrawn, self-loathing and emotionally erratic
3. Frequently hurt by a particular person or group of people
4. Frequently picked on in the presence of other people
5. Mistakes are turned into a big deal by someone
6. Belongings are often stolen or taken
7. Always being confronted with lies/rumors
How parents encourage bullying in their own children:

• Exercise absolute control over child

• Threaten the child with spankings or other violence

• Attempt to humiliate or embarrass the child as a way to punish them

• Rule by fear

• Push competition and contest too much

• Teach their child that mistakes are unacceptable

• Tell their child what to say, do or think 

If your child is being picked on by a bully, sit down with him or her and go over this list of Do's and Don'ts to keep them safe: 
1. Don't get into a fistfight with a bully or try to retaliate in other ways.
2. Don't believe the insults about you.
3. Don't overestimate how much power a bully has over you.
4. Don't think that bullying will stop if you ignore it.
5. Don't waste time in places online where bullies target you.
6. Don't be afraid to think of new ways to solve the conflict.
7. Don't believe you deserve to be picked on.
8. Do get real about bullying and how it makes you feel.
9. Do get angry, but keep anger under control.
10. Do write down how you feel.
11. Do learn to say and believe good things about yourself.
12. Do speak confidently when telling a bully not to physically touch you.
13. Do work on developing at least one good relationship with a classmate, neighbor and/or older child.
14. Do walk or run away if a bully tries to hurt you.

We can all do something or we can all do nothing.  If you choose to do nothing remember these children, whether they are the bully or the victim, will be running our Country when we are old.  It takes each of us to stop this problem.  

Simple steps to help:

If you are the parent of the bully STEP UP and help your child.  

If you are the parent of the victim STEP IN and help.

If you witness a bully and a victim STEP OVER to them and stop it.


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Part of the problem or Part of the SOLUTION: Domestic Violence

You can either be part of the solution or 

part of the problem.  

I hate to think that, as a society, we have become self centered to the point of we are now part of the problem and not part of the solution.  There are so many things that are in our control that we choose to ignore.  




One serious problem we have today is:

Domestic violence:  (According to Domestic Violence Statistics)

1. Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
2. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.
3. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
4. Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
5. Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
6. Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
7. Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
8. Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
9. Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
10. The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
11. Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

Here are 11 reasons why you should be part of the solution.  You don't have to get physically involved you just have to OPEN YOUR EYES and be there for someone who is living through this.  If you suspect a friend, family member or co-worker is suffering with Domestic Violence....ASK them.

According to Oprah and Information from the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence, www.opdv.state.ny.us. Copyright © NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence:

The only way to know for sure if someone you know is being abused is to ask. One of the common myths about battered women is that they don't want to talk about their victimization. While many do make efforts to hide the battering, they often do so because they fear being embarrassed, their partner finding out, being blamed, not being believed, or being pressured to do something they're not ready or able to do.

What you should do:

Believe her.
And let her know that you do. If you know her partner, remember that batterers most often behave differently in public than they do in private.

Listen to what she tells you.
If you actively listen, ask clarifying questions and avoid making judgments and giving advice. You will most likely learn directly from her what it is she needs.

Build on her strengths.
Actively identify the ways in which she has developed coping strategies, solved problems and exhibited courage and determination, even if her efforts have not been completely successful. Help her to build on these strengths.

Validate her feelings.
It is common for women to have conflicting feelings—love and fear; guilt and anger; hope and sadness. Let her know that her feelings are normal and reasonable.

Avoid victim-blaming.
Tell her that the abuse is not her fault. Reinforce that the abuse is her partner's problem and his responsibility. However, refrain from "bad-mouthing" him.

Take her fears seriously.
If you are concerned about her safety, express your concern without judgment. Simply say, "Your situation sounds dangerous and I'm concerned about your safety."

Offer help.
When it's appropriate, offer specific forms of help and information. If she asks you to do something you're willing and able to do, do it. If you can't or don't want to, say so and help her identify other ways to have that need met.

Be an active, creative partner in her safety-planning effort.
The key to planning is to take the problem, consider the full range of available options, evaluate the risks and benefits of different options, and identify ways to reduce the risks.

Support her decisions.
Remember that there are risks attached to every decision a battered woman makes. If you truly want to be helpful, be patient and respectful of her decisions.

What you should not do:

If you think a woman you know is being abused, don't wait for her to come to you. If she does confide in you, don't judge or blame her or her decisions—even if you don't agree with them. Don't pressure her into acting if she's not ready. Don't offer advice if it's not appropriate, and don't put conditions on your support of her.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/A-Suburban-Mothers-Nightmare-Captured-on-Tape-How-Can-I-He#ixzz240Wbv9pa

Please watch this video and spread the word about Domestic Violence.

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