Part of the problem or Part of the SOLUTION: Domestic Violence

You can either be part of the solution or 

part of the problem.  

I hate to think that, as a society, we have become self centered to the point of we are now part of the problem and not part of the solution.  There are so many things that are in our control that we choose to ignore.  




One serious problem we have today is:

Domestic violence:  (According to Domestic Violence Statistics)

1. Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
2. Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.
3. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
4. Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
5. Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
6. Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
7. Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
8. Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
9. Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
10. The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
11. Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

Here are 11 reasons why you should be part of the solution.  You don't have to get physically involved you just have to OPEN YOUR EYES and be there for someone who is living through this.  If you suspect a friend, family member or co-worker is suffering with Domestic Violence....ASK them.

According to Oprah and Information from the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence, www.opdv.state.ny.us. Copyright © NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence:

The only way to know for sure if someone you know is being abused is to ask. One of the common myths about battered women is that they don't want to talk about their victimization. While many do make efforts to hide the battering, they often do so because they fear being embarrassed, their partner finding out, being blamed, not being believed, or being pressured to do something they're not ready or able to do.

What you should do:

Believe her.
And let her know that you do. If you know her partner, remember that batterers most often behave differently in public than they do in private.

Listen to what she tells you.
If you actively listen, ask clarifying questions and avoid making judgments and giving advice. You will most likely learn directly from her what it is she needs.

Build on her strengths.
Actively identify the ways in which she has developed coping strategies, solved problems and exhibited courage and determination, even if her efforts have not been completely successful. Help her to build on these strengths.

Validate her feelings.
It is common for women to have conflicting feelings—love and fear; guilt and anger; hope and sadness. Let her know that her feelings are normal and reasonable.

Avoid victim-blaming.
Tell her that the abuse is not her fault. Reinforce that the abuse is her partner's problem and his responsibility. However, refrain from "bad-mouthing" him.

Take her fears seriously.
If you are concerned about her safety, express your concern without judgment. Simply say, "Your situation sounds dangerous and I'm concerned about your safety."

Offer help.
When it's appropriate, offer specific forms of help and information. If she asks you to do something you're willing and able to do, do it. If you can't or don't want to, say so and help her identify other ways to have that need met.

Be an active, creative partner in her safety-planning effort.
The key to planning is to take the problem, consider the full range of available options, evaluate the risks and benefits of different options, and identify ways to reduce the risks.

Support her decisions.
Remember that there are risks attached to every decision a battered woman makes. If you truly want to be helpful, be patient and respectful of her decisions.

What you should not do:

If you think a woman you know is being abused, don't wait for her to come to you. If she does confide in you, don't judge or blame her or her decisions—even if you don't agree with them. Don't pressure her into acting if she's not ready. Don't offer advice if it's not appropriate, and don't put conditions on your support of her.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/A-Suburban-Mothers-Nightmare-Captured-on-Tape-How-Can-I-He#ixzz240Wbv9pa

Please watch this video and spread the word about Domestic Violence.

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