Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION: Bullying

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What is a Bully?  What happens when a child is bullied?  

This is a growing problem with our children.  Do we blame the bully?  Do we blame the parent?  Do we blame society?  I believe that we all have some blame here....Even if you do not have a child.  How many times have we "watched" someone being bullied and did NOTHING!  If we do nothing than nothing will change.  

The following is taken from Dr. Phil's website about Bullying.  I love his approach and his advice so this is word for word on what he says:
Warning Signs of BullyingBullying is:
Intentional, aggressive behavior
Imbalance of power
Repeated over time
Physical, verbal intimidation
Exclusion
Cyber harassment
Warning signs that your child may be the victim of bullying:
1. Makes up excuses not to go to school
2. Is often angry, sad or depressed, withdrawn, self-loathing and emotionally erratic
3. Frequently hurt by a particular person or group of people
4. Frequently picked on in the presence of other people
5. Mistakes are turned into a big deal by someone
6. Belongings are often stolen or taken
7. Always being confronted with lies/rumors
How parents encourage bullying in their own children:

• Exercise absolute control over child

• Threaten the child with spankings or other violence

• Attempt to humiliate or embarrass the child as a way to punish them

• Rule by fear

• Push competition and contest too much

• Teach their child that mistakes are unacceptable

• Tell their child what to say, do or think 

If your child is being picked on by a bully, sit down with him or her and go over this list of Do's and Don'ts to keep them safe: 
1. Don't get into a fistfight with a bully or try to retaliate in other ways.
2. Don't believe the insults about you.
3. Don't overestimate how much power a bully has over you.
4. Don't think that bullying will stop if you ignore it.
5. Don't waste time in places online where bullies target you.
6. Don't be afraid to think of new ways to solve the conflict.
7. Don't believe you deserve to be picked on.
8. Do get real about bullying and how it makes you feel.
9. Do get angry, but keep anger under control.
10. Do write down how you feel.
11. Do learn to say and believe good things about yourself.
12. Do speak confidently when telling a bully not to physically touch you.
13. Do work on developing at least one good relationship with a classmate, neighbor and/or older child.
14. Do walk or run away if a bully tries to hurt you.

We can all do something or we can all do nothing.  If you choose to do nothing remember these children, whether they are the bully or the victim, will be running our Country when we are old.  It takes each of us to stop this problem.  

Simple steps to help:

If you are the parent of the bully STEP UP and help your child.  

If you are the parent of the victim STEP IN and help.

If you witness a bully and a victim STEP OVER to them and stop it.


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