Car Accident step by step process Part 11: Process of a Personal Injury Case

I've said it before and I will say it again.....YOU WANT HOW MUCH?

If you have been keeping up with this blog you will understand.  If you haven't you can follow catch up with us by clicking here.

I've mentioned a few things that a Personal Injury Attorney will do for you but what is the process?


They:

1. Gather your medical records which is not always easy.  If you are like me; visiting a Doctor is the last thing you ever want to do.  With my case a negative had to be proved.  Proving that my injuries were not pre-existing was difficult.
2. Follow your medical care as long as you are a client.  Every time you see a Doctor, Chiropractor or anyone that treats you for your injuries a report is sent to your Attorney.  Your Attorney has to review this information and analyze what the best approach for YOU is.  Now you know why your file is so thick :)
3. Evaluate police reports, eyewitness accounts and your situation to determine liability for you, liability for the person who caused the accident and all parties involved.
4. Staying "on-top" of your case and knowing when you are close to maximum medical improvement commonly referred to as MMI.  What this means is you are as good as you are going to get.  When this happens the rules of the game change.
5. Paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork.  The letters that are sent out, on your behalf, is astronomical.  Letter introducing the Attorney and informing all parties that they are representing you and no one is to call you; all calls about your case are to the Attorney's office.  (This in itself is very time consuming as your Attorney may receive multiple calls from multiple agencies, companies, Doctors, etc. in a day about your case.)  Notice of claim, Demand letters are just the beginning.
6. Deadlines, deadlines and more deadlines.  Anything to do with the court system has deadlines.  Not only does the Attorney need to complete the paperwork but they have to have it filed by the deadline.
7. More paperwork.  If a settlement cannot be reached than a Complaint and Summons has to be served on the Defendant(s).  More deadlines as once these are filed with the court than the Defendant(s) have to be served which is not always an easy process.

Now comes the fun and even more time consuming areas of your case:  Discovery.  Discovery used to be fun as everything was a big secret UNTIL the trial.  Now Discovery is no longer a "secret" and the justification for this; fairer trials and both sides would know what they were "up against" so more settlements were offered before trial.

Interrogatories:  (You may hear them called Roggs) are, most often the first step in Discovery.  This is a list of questions, given by both sides, that you are required to answer in writing.

Investigation:  Although this is usually done outside of the Discovery process it allows the Attorney to get a "clearer" picture of the accident.  The investigation includes photos, witness statements, a mock drawing or video of the scenario and visits to the scene.  

Another part of the Discovery process is the deposition.  This is a non-court meeting with all parties to for questions to be answered.  Although this information is considered "hearsay" and is not, generally, admitted into court.  There are some exceptions to the hearsay rule: (Cornell University Law School)

• The first is when a party admits something in a deposition that is against his or her interest. 

• The second is when a witness's testimony at trial contradicts their deposition. 

• The third is when a witness is unavailable at trial. See Federal Rules of Evidence, Article VIII.

ONE VERY IMPORTANT factor of depositions you need to KNOW and be AWARE of:  WHO you ARE will be under the scrutiny of the opposing party.  The Attorney will report back to the insurance company how they "feel" a jury will view you.  Always dress appropriately, be well groomed and clear on what you are saying.  It is essential that the opposing Attorney views you as a person the jury would love, a person the jury would connect with and a person the jury would award damages.  
Understand that with every Doctor you have confirming your injuries they will have one that will try to discredit them.  Don't let this worry you.  If this was not a standard practice and if Personal Injury Attorneys were not accustomed to these tactics there would be no Personal Injury cases.  Do not get emotional if you are told that their Doctor says you are not hurt...it is just a defense and they will throw as many out there as they can to limit the damages they have to pay out.

Over 95% of civil cases are settled out of court.  This is a very good percentage when it comes to Personal Injury cases so do not be discouraged, disappointed or upset if your Attorney tells you a settlement was reached and it is their advice that you should accept it.  Remember it is your Attorney who investigated this.  It is your Attorney who did the Discovery.  It is you Attorney who has been with you from the beginning.  All Attorneys have to take any settlement offers to their clients.  The good Attorneys will explain why accepting or denying is a good idea.

Now that you have (just an) idea of what goes on with a Personal Injury case the contingency fee doesn't seem that much does it?  Could you do all that was listed here?  Plus all the other stuff that goes along with your case that wasn't mentioned?

I strongly encourage you to hire a Personal Attorney.  Finding the best one for you will make all the difference in the world.  If you need help in finding an Attorney you can click here and it will help you decide.





Like Zeisler & Associates, Attorney at Law, PC on Facebook or visit their website.

Pueblo Office: 113 W. 12th Street  (Map it)

Colorado Springs Office:  422 E. Vermijo Ave., Suite 412 (Map it)

Process of Personal Injury cases

I've said it before and I will say it again.....YOU WANT HOW MUCH?

If you have been keeping up with this blog you will understand.  If you haven't you can follow catch up with us by clicking here.

I've mentioned a few things that a Personal Injury Attorney will do for you but what is the process?



They:

1. Gather your medical records which is not always easy.  If you are like me; visiting a Doctor is the last thing you ever want to do.  With my case a negative had to be proved.  Proving that my injuries were not pre-existing was difficult.
2. Follow your medical care as long as you are a client.  Every time you see a Doctor, Chiropractor or anyone that treats you for your injuries a report is sent to your Attorney.  Your Attorney has to review this information and analyze what the best approach for YOU is.  Now you know why your file is so thick :)
3. Evaluate police reports, eyewitness accounts and your situation to determine liability for you, liability for the person who caused the accident and all parties involved.
4. Staying "on-top" of your case and knowing when you are close to maximum medical improvement commonly referred to as MMI.  What this means is you are as good as you are going to get.  When this happens the rules of the game change.
5. Paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork.  The letters that are sent out, on your behalf, is astronomical.  Letter introducing the Attorney and informing all parties that they are representing you and no one is to call you; all calls about your case are to the Attorney's office.  (This in itself is very time consuming as your Attorney may receive multiple calls from multiple agencies, companies, Doctors, etc. in a day about your case.)  Notice of claim, Demand letters are just the beginning.
6. Deadlines, deadlines and more deadlines.  Anything to do with the court system has deadlines.  Not only does the Attorney need to complete the paperwork but they have to have it filed by the deadline.
7. More paperwork.  If a settlement cannot be reached than a Complaint and Summons has to be served on the Defendant(s).  More deadlines as once these are filed with the court than the Defendant(s) have to be served which is not always an easy process.

Now comes the fun and even more time consuming areas of your case:  Discovery.  Discovery used to be fun as everything was a big secret UNTIL the trial.  Now Discovery is no longer a "secret" and the justification for this; fairer trials and both sides would know what they were "up against" so more settlements were offered before trial.

Interrogatories:  (You may hear them called Roggs) are, most often the first step in Discovery.  This is a list of questions, given by both sides, that you are required to answer in writing.

Investigation:  Although this is usually done outside of the Discovery process it allows the Attorney to get a "clearer" picture of the accident.  The investigation includes photos, witness statements, a mock drawing or video of the scenario and visits to the scene.  

Another part of the Discovery process is the deposition.  This is a non-court meeting with all parties to for questions to be answered.  Although this information is considered "hearsay" and is not, generally, admitted into court.  There are some exceptions to the hearsay rule: (Cornell University Law School)

• The first is when a party admits something in a deposition that is against his or her interest. 

• The second is when a witness's testimony at trial contradicts their deposition. 

• The third is when a witness is unavailable at trial. See Federal Rules of Evidence, Article VIII.

ONE VERY IMPORTANT factor of depositions you need to KNOW and be AWARE of:  WHO you ARE will be under the scrutiny of the opposing party.  The Attorney will report back to the insurance company how they "feel" a jury will view you.  Always dress appropriately, be well groomed and clear on what you are saying.  It is essential that the opposing Attorney views you as a person the jury would love, a person the jury would connect with and a person the jury would award damages.  
Understand that with every Doctor you have confirming your injuries they will have one that will try to discredit them.  Don't let this worry you.  If this was not a standard practice and if Personal Injury Attorneys were not accustomed to these tactics there would be no Personal Injury cases.  Do not get emotional if you are told that their Doctor says you are not hurt...it is just a defense and they will throw as many out there as they can to limit the damages they have to pay out.

Over 95% of civil cases are settled out of court.  This is a very good percentage when it comes to Personal Injury cases so do not be discouraged, disappointed or upset if your Attorney tells you a settlement was reached and it is their advice that you should accept it.  Remember it is your Attorney who investigated this.  It is your Attorney who did the Discovery.  It is you Attorney who has been with you from the beginning.  All Attorneys have to take any settlement offers to their clients.  The good Attorneys will explain why accepting or denying is a good idea.

Now that you have (just an) idea of what goes on with a Personal Injury case the contingency fee doesn't seem that much does it?  Could you do all that was listed here?  Plus all the other stuff that goes along with your case that wasn't mentioned?

I strongly encourage you to hire a Personal Attorney.  Finding the best one for you will make all the difference in the world.  If you need help in finding an Attorney you can click here and it will help you decide.






Like Zeisler & Associates, Attorney at Law, PC on Facebook or visit their website.

Pueblo Office: 113 W. 12th Street  (Map it)

Colorado Springs Office:  422 E. Vermijo Ave., Suite 412 (Map it)

What is your accident and your time worth to you?

You want how much?

I have written before about understanding contingency fees but I want to expand on it a little more.

There are many people out in the world today that want to tell you that you will pay more doing a contingency fee than you do any other type of payment.  I want to clear the air about this:

1. I have said this before but it bears repeating:  It is the Personal Injury Attorney that assumes all the risk when taking your case.  If you don't win they do not get paid.  
2. They pay all the upfront costs to move your case forward.  Obtaining past medical records IS NOT CHEAP and they have to have the full picture to fight you case for you.  When you meet with a Personal Injury Attorney and have your consultation they are trusting what you say to determine whether they can win.  BUT the insurance companies don't trust what you say.....it has to be proved.
3. Just because there isn't any "progress" on your case doesn't mean your Attorney is not working on it every day!  It is a fight with the Insurance Companies to get you what you deserve....if it was simple you wouldn't need an Attorney.  If Insurance Companies just wrote the check they promised you...you could do it.
4. Most Personal Injury Attorney's have to return your calls, when you call, because they are on the phone with professionals or your insurance company fighting for you.  These people are very hard to get a hold of so when you have them on the phone you handle business so don't be discouraged when you have to leave a message.  Be concerned when your calls are NOT returned.

Imagine your job.  Imagine working every day to complete your job.  Imagine that you do not get paid unless the job is complete.  You dedicate time of each and every day to this job while paying out of YOUR POCKET to get the necessary information you need to do the job.  Now remember...there is no guarantee you will ever see a dime unless you do your job well.

Many of you know that I was involved in a car accident.  After my car accident I didn't have the energy to fight the Insurance Companies (mine and the other guys).  I also didn't have the time to get all my medical files together so my Attorney (Carol Zeisler) had all the facts.  I also hadn't been to a doctor in the previous ten years so she had to prove a negative.  Proving a negative is difficult...you have to prove something that does not exist.  She had to prove my injuries were not pre-existing injuries without any medical reports to do so.  I love one of Carol Zeisler's quotes when she represents a client with pre-existing injuries:

"Is there anyone on the road today that doesn't have some type of pre-existing injury?  If there is your client should have aimed better!"

This is EXACTLY the type of representation YOU want if you are in a car accident.  Someone who is going to stand up to the Insurance Companies and tell them THEY are wrong for looking for excused NOT TO PAY YOU!!!

We are smart people...we don't believe the commercials that tell us, "Buy this product and you will.....

• get rich
• get thin
• get healthy

so why do we believe the commercials that say "XYZ Attorney got me 2.2 million dollars" and think that is what they will get for us.  TRUTH.  They have to work within the same guidelines as any other Personal Injury Attorney within that State and YOUR insurance policy.  Yes, they probably did get that one client that.....but I promise you this....the circumstance behind that case are not the same as yours.  You want the Attorney on television who NEVER meets their clients....or do you want the Attorney who actually meets with YOU and is too busy fighting for your rights to make commercials.

We've all heard the term Ambulance chasers, right?

"Ambulance chasing is a term associated with lawyers. It refers to an attorney’s practice of soliciting business from accident victims or their families at the scene of an accident or disaster. Trial lawyers who specialize in representing accident victims are often described as ambulance chasers. Ambulance chasing may involve the chasing of an ambulance from an accident scene to the hospital in order to contact the victim/victim’s family members for consent to represent him or her in a lawsuit.
In the U.S., such conduct violates Rule 7.3 of the American Bar Association Model Rules of Professional Conduct. Some state bars strongly enforce rules against ambulance chasing. Ambulance chasing is severely condemned, and said to be a ground for disbarment. However, the employment by an attorney of an investigator in personal injury cases is not unethical, and it cannot be inferred from such employment alone that the attorney is engaged in ambulance chasing. [In re Mitgang, 385 Ill. 311]. The employment of investigators after an attorney has been retained is not unethical and does not give an inference that the attorney involved is engaged in "ambulance chasing." [In re Ratner, 194 Kan. 362 (Kan. 1965)]."  (uslegal.com)

Since Attorneys cannot do this anymore....they go on television and promise you the world.  The "legal" way to chase ambulances.  Find a respected Attorney that works hard for you.  Find a respected Attorney who meets with you.  Find a respected Attorney who's reputation speaks for itself....not an actor or an "actual client" on television.


Like Zeisler & Associates, Attorney at Law, PC on Facebook or visit their website.

Pueblo Office: 113 W. 12th Street  (Map it)

Colorado Springs Office:  422 E. Vermijo Ave., Suite 412 (Map it)

What to do after a car accident: Who is the Insurance negotiator or adjuster?

We have talked about the secrets that the Insurance Companies don't want YOU to KNOW.

Here's another secret that you NEED to know about that they will NEVER tell you.

You get the call from the insurance company.  How they are so nice.  They tell you that they are glad that you are "okay" as that is their number one concern.  (Of course it is because you being okay means they don't have to pay you, right?)  Don't think for one moment their "care" of you being okay is because of you....it is all about the dollar.

Once the get your version (and it will be taped and they will try to "trip" you up or get you to admit fault...in a nice way of course) they will tell you that one of their adjusters will follow up with you. 

Here is the secret they don't want you to know:  Most adjusters and/or negotiators are ATTORNEYS and trust me they KNOW THE LAW!  What is even worse; they know the law so well that they can get you to say something that will reduce your future rights to any claims.  

I know what most people think when they hear the word "Attorney."  Depending on your experience (or the experience of a friend/family member) those thoughts could be "ugly fight," or "shyster" or "blood sucking" the list goes on and on and on.

I want to remind you of something:  There are bad people in EVERY profession.  We just tend to hear more about the "bad attorney" than we do the good ones...so the one's who fall into those thoughts give the good ones a bad name.....I mean Attorney jokes are some of the funniest because for some they are the truth.

Here's what YOU need to know:  The bad guys are on their side...the side of the insurance companies.   Their best interest, no matter what their job title is (Claims Adjuster, Negotiator, etc) is the INSURANCE COMPANY.  

YOU NEED AN ATTORNEY to fight them.  If you haven't already read past blogs about this situation, how to find a GREAT Attorney or what you need to know please click here and learn more about this.  

I hope you keep coming back for more information.


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Been involved in a car accident?  Tell me your story.

The information provided here is not to be construed as legal advice.  Please consult an Attorney if you have any questions.  General questions about Colorado Personal Injury can be asked here and Carol Zeisler will gladly assist you in the proper direction for your situation

One person's story the Insurance Company's denial of responsibility

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Progressive’s betrayal of woman after fatal car crash could happen to you

September 5, 2012

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Paying auto insurance  premiums is no guarantee that Progressive Insurance keep its promises after you’ve  been injured

Progressive Insurance could betray you in the same way it betrayed comedian Matt Fisher’s sister, Kaitlynn Fisher, after her car crash.  Sadly, this is the same way Progressive has been betraying people I’ve been helping for years.

After years of accepting, cashing and depositing Ms. Fisher’s dutifully paid premiums for “Underinsurance Motorist Benefits,” Progressive Insurance used Ms. Fisher’s premium dollars to hire a lawyer to contest her “underinsurance” claim by “defending” the truly at-fault driver and blaming Ms. Fisher for the car crash that took her life, despite overwhelming evidence that the other driver had caused the crash that took Ms. Fisher’s life.

The above story is taken directly from: Michigan Auto Law blog

Remember...paying your premium does not guarantee that you will be paid when you need it most.  This story, if you keep reading, Progressive lost in the end....but as Steven M. Gursten states in his blog: 

"In the end, the truth won out. Progressive’s betrayal failed to pay off.  But the disturbing part is that they tried. They chose to do this."

Never doubt, for one second, they will spend $75,000 to defend against paying you $100,000 they will do it which is why you need an ATTORNEY from the beginning of your claim.  Click Steven M. Gursten's blog and read the evidence.....Kaitlynn Fisher did not cause the accident but the Insurance Company STILL FOUGHT to pay the claim.  

You can say all you want that Lawyers are "not good people" and you can say that Lawyers don't care about you they care about the $$$$$.  If this is how you feel about Lawyers...it's because you didn't have a good experience with one.  Find one that KNOWS their field of practice, KNOWS their clients, KNOWS the laws and fights for YOUR rights.  When you find this Attorney your views will change.  Insurance Companies promise to be there for you....an Attorney makes them keep that promise.....Who is really on your side?

Let's face it:  You have to have car insurance.  I would rather have them laugh at me when I pay my premium saying, "ya, let's hope you never need this because we know what's in the fine print" than to have them promise to take care of me and when I need them....they act like we've never met.  Knowledge is power.  If you know this you will be better prepared if you are involved in an accident.

Special thanks to Steven M. Gursten for the use of his story.  

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Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION! Little things YOU can do

Going down roads is difficult no matter where or how you travel.  It is up to each of us to travel a road that we can travel back down with our head held high.  Too often we are cruel or rude to people without knowing the real story.  The last few posts I have placed some very powerful songs; Don't Laugh at Me, The Road YOU leave Behind and the Chain of Love.  All these songs fit today's story.  You can make a difference in someone's life.  You can be the person who saves someone's life.  Whatever road you choose to take please remember you will have to travel that road again....so make the scenery beautiful!

Stories like this, always have a way of putting the right perspective on life.

Jean Thompson stood in front of her fifth-grade class on the very first day of school in the fall and told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her pupils and said that she loved them all the same, that she would treat them all alike. And that was impossible because there in front of her, slumped in his seat on the third row, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were unkept and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy was unpleasant.It got to the point during the first few months that she would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then marking the F at the top of the paper biggest of all. Because Teddy was a sullen little boy, no one else seemed to enjoy him, either.At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's records and put Teddy's off until last. When she opened his file, she was in for a surprise. His first-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright, inquisitive child with a ready laugh." "He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around."His second-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."His third-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy continues to work hard but his mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."Teddy's fourth-grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class. He is tardy and could become a problem."By now Mrs. Thompson realized the problem, but Christmas was coming fast. It was all she could do, with the school play and all, until the day before the holidays began and she was suddenly forced to focus on Teddy Stoddard.Her children brought her presents, all in beautiful ribbon and bright paper, except for Teddy's, which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper of a scissored grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents.Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of cologne. She stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume behind the other wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed behind just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my mom used to."After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing, and speaking. Instead, she began to teach children. Jean Thompson paid particular attention to one they all called "Teddy."As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. On days where there would be an important test, Mrs. Thompson would remember that cologne. By the end of the year he had become one of the smartest children in the class and...well, he had also become the "pet" of the teacher who had once vowed to love all of her children exactly the same.A year later she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that of all the teachers he'd had in elementary school, she was his favorite. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy.He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still his favorite teacher of all time.Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson she was still his favorite teacher.Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still his favorite teacher, but that now his name was a little longer. The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that Spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering...well, if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the pew usually reserved for the mother of the groom. And guess what, she wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And I bet on that special day, Jean Thompson smelled just like...well, just like the way Teddy remembered his mother smelling on their last Christmas together.THE MORAL: You never can tell what type of impact you may make on another's life by your actions or lack of action. Consider this fact in your venture thru life.  (Thank you RogerKnapp.comhttp://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/teacher.htm for this story) 

You can save a life!!!  Need motivation to do so?  Watch and listen....you can do it.  
"Be the change you want to see in the world"  ~Mahatma Gandhi

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Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION: The little things you can do

WOW!  We talked about how a smile can change someones life....and not just the person who you are smiling at...but it can change your life also.  I'm glad you came back to learn more about being part of the SOLUTION. 

I hoped you watched the video on today's topic:  Your words.  If not please watch this video first.

I don't know about you but I was raised with please, thank you, excuse me and I'm sorry.  I am hoping that these are part of your every day life.  I want to go beyond these words; as we saw in the video.  Changing your words can change your life and the life of another.

Changing the words to my glass is half full instead of half empty will change your life.  As in the video changing: I'm am blind please help to it's a beautiful day and I can't see it....it is the same concept BUT DIFFERENT WORDS.  Words are powerful...they can destroy or they can build.  Think about this; you are in a crowded store and someone bumps into you and as they are walking away they mutter "sorry."  OR they bump into you and say "I'm so sorry."  Both "mean" the same but they aren't the same.

Imagine being at work:  Someone walks into your office needing help and you say: "What do you want me to do?"  Now, change the words (same meaning) and say, "How can I help you?"  Powerful huh?

Negative out is negative in.  It's time to change what goes out to positive. 

“You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” ~James D. Miles

This is a great video on how you can change someones life and not expecting anything in return.  We are going to talk about doing things for others: Any using the words "You don't owe me a thing" when you do it. 

Grab a tissue for this one:

The Folded Napkin ..A Truckers Story
I try not to be biased, but I had my doubts about hiring Stevie. His placement counselor assured me that he would be a good, reliable busboy.But I had never had a mentally handicapped employee and wasn't sure I wanted one. I wasn't sure how my customers would react to Stevie.He was short, a little dumpy with the smooth facial features and thick-tongued speech of Downs Syndrome. I wasn't worried about most of my trucker customers because truckers don't generally care who buses tables as long as the meatloaf platter is good and the pies are homemade.The four-wheeler drivers were the ones who concerned me; the mouthy college kids traveling to school; the yuppie snobs who secretly polish their silverware with their napkins for fear of catching some dreaded "truck stop germ" the pairs of white-shirted business men on expense accounts who think every truck stop waitress wants to be flirted with. I knew those people would be uncomfortable around Stevie so I closely watched him for the first few weeks.I shouldn't have worried. After the first week, Stevie had my staff wrapped around his stubby little finger, and within a month my truck regulars had adopted him as their official truck stop mascot.After that, I really didn't care what the rest of the customers thought of him. He was like a 21-year-old kid in blue jeans and Nikes, eager to laugh and eager to please, but fierce in his attention to his duties. Every salt and pepper shaker was exactly in its place, not a bread crumb or coffee spill was visible when Stevie got done with the table. Our only problem was persuading him to wait to clean a table until after the customers were finished. He would hover in the background, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, scanning the dining room until a table was empty.Then he would scurry to the empty table and carefully bus dishes and glasses onto his cart and meticulously wipe the table up with a practiced flourish of his rag. If he thought a customer was watching, his brow would pucker with added concentration. He took pride in doing his job exactly right, and you had to love how hard he tried to please each and every person he met.Over time, we learned that he lived with his mother, a widow who was disabled after repeated surgeries for cancer. They lived on their Social Security benefits in public housing two miles from the truck stop. Their social worker, who stopped to check on him every so often, admitted they hadfallen between the cracks. Money was tight, and what I paid him was probably the difference between them being able to live together and Stevie being sent to a group home. That's why the restaurant was a gloomy place that morning last August, the first morning in three years that Stevie missed work.He was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester getting a new valve or something put in his heart. His social worker said that people with Downs Syndrome often have heart problems at an early age so this wasn't unexpected, and there was a good chance he would come through the surgery in good shape and be back at work in a few months.A ripple of excitement ran through the staff later that morning when word came that he was out of surgery, in recovery, and doing fine.Frannie, the head waitress, let out a war hoop and did a little dance in the aisle when she heard the good news.Marvin Ringers, one of our regular trucker customers, stared at the sight of this 50-year-old grandmother of four doing a victory shimmy beside his table.Frannie blushed, smoothed her apron and shot Marvin a withering look.He grinned. "OK, Frannie, what was that all about?" he asked."We just got word that Stevie is out of surgery and going to be okay.""I was wondering where he was. I had a new joke to tell him. What was the surgery about?"Frannie quickly told Marvin and the other two drivers sitting at his booth about Stevie's surgery, then sighed: " Yeah, I'm glad he is going to be OK," she said. "But I don't know how he and his Mom are going to handle all the bills. From what I hear, they're barely getting by as it is." Marvin nodded thoughtfully, and Frannie hurried off to wait on the rest of her tables. Since I hadn't had time to round up a busboy to replace Stevie and really didn't want to replace him, the girls were busing their own tables that day until we decided what to do.After the morning rush, Frannie walked into my office. She had a couple of paper napkins in her hand and a funny look on her face."What's up?" I asked."I didn't get that table where Marvin and his friends were sitting cleared off after they left, and Pete and Tony were sitting there when I got back to clean it off," she said. "This was folded and tucked under a coffee cup."She handed the napkin to me, and three $20 bills fell onto my desk when I opened it. On the outside, in big, bold letters, was printed "Something For Stevie.""Pete asked me what that was all about," she said, "so I told him about Stevie and his Mom and everything, and Pete looked at Tony and Tony looked at Pete, and they ended up giving me this." She handed me another paper napkin that had "Something For Stevie" scrawled on its outside. Two $50 bills were tucked within its folds. Frannie looked at me with wet, shiny eyes, shook her head and said simply:"truckers."That was three months ago. Today is Thanksgiving, the first day Stevie is supposed to be back to work.His placement worker said he's been counting the days until the doctor said he could work, and it didn't matter at all that it was a holiday. He called 10 times in the past week, making sure we knew he was coming, fearful that we had forgotten him or that his job was in jeopardy. I arranged to have his mother bring him to work. I then met them in the parking lot and invited them both to celebrate his day back.Stevie was thinner and paler, but couldn't stop grinning as he pushed through the doors and headed for the back room where his apron and busing cart were waiting."Hold up there, Stevie, not so fast," I said. I took him and his mother by their arms. "Work can wait for a minute. To celebrate your coming back, breakfast for you and your mother is on me!" I led them toward a large corner booth at the rear of the room.I could feel and hear the rest of the staff following behind as we marched through the dining room. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw booth after booth of grinning truckers empty and join the procession. We stopped in front of the big table. Its surface was covered with coffee cups, saucers and dinner plates, all sitting slightly crooked on dozens of folded paper napkins. "First thing you have to do, Stevie, is clean up this mess," I said. I tried to sound stern.Stevie looked at me, and then at his mother, then pulled out one of the napkins. It had "Something for Stevie" printed on the outside. As he picked it up, two $10 bills fell onto the table.Stevie stared at the money, then at all the napkins peeking from beneath the tableware, each with his name printed or scrawled on it. I turned to his mother. "There's more than $10,000 in cash and checks on that table, all from truckers and trucking companies that heard about your problems. "Happy Thanksgiving."Well, it got real noisy about that time, with everybody hollering and shouting, and there were a few tears, as well.But you know what's funny? While everybody else was busy shaking hands and hugging each other, Stevie, with a big smile on his face, was busy clearing all the cups and dishes from the table..Best worker I ever hired.Plant a seed and watch it grow.At this point, you can bury this inspirational message or forward it fulfilling the need!If you shed a tear, hug yourself, because you are a compassionate person.

Today's challenge:  The next time you see someone; a friend, co-worker, stranger or someone down on their luck, instead of saying good morning, good afternoon or good evening say this:  "I hope you have a good........" 

Next simple thing is going to be about what we touched on earlier in this blog....positive out is positive in.  Watch this video for a preview of what's to come.  Remember what you do and say defines who you are.....the road you leave behind is YOUR road and is another road you are going to have to go back down.....you can leave it with pot holes and dirt or you can pave it with good deeds.

Please share your stories in the comment section.

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Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION: The little things you can do

Every day we have an opportunity to make someone's day better.....do you do it?  There are people everywhere that need so much and so many people who need so little.  If you have read the other blogs that pertain to this, great!  If not please read them as they have how to be part of the SOLUTION for specific things.  This series is going to be about the simple things you can do to be part of the SOLUTION.



Do you know how much a smile can change a life?  How just being kind and change a life?  This week is going to be focused on just that.

Today is a heart clenching story about how one woman who had a class assignment made a difference in the lives of others.  I have not been able to discover if this story is true or not...but whether it is true or not the message is powerful and has changed the lives of those who have read it.  I hope it changes yours.

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.

The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called "Smile."

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch ... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell,and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling". His beautiful sky  blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at The counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table
and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you."

Your smile, your actions, your words can change a life.

Preview of what our next simple lesson is going to be.  Watch this short video and check back on how your words can be part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION.

Please comment on how you have been part of the SOLUTION or how you plan on being part of the SOLUTION.

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Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION: Suicide

I can't imagine there is anyone who doesn't know someone who has attempted suicide, committed suicide or has lost someone to suicide.  




When things get tough...sometimes people don't see any other option.  It has to be a difficult situation to be in.  It's horrible for the person who attempts or commits suicide and it's horrible for their family and friends who are left with unanswered questions.




The following statistics are from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the information belongs to them:  

National Statistics

General

• Over 36,000 people in the United States die by suicide every year.
• In 2009 (latest available data), there were 36,909 reported suicide deaths.
• Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for adults between the ages of 18 and 65 years in the United States.
• Currently, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States.
• A person dies by suicide about every 15 minutes in the United States.
• Every day, approximately 101 Americans take their own life.
• Ninety percent of all people who die by suicide have a diagnosable psychiatric disorder at the time of their death.
• There are four male suicides for every female suicide, but three times as many females as males attempt suicide.
• There are an estimated 8-25 attempted suicides for every suicide death.

Youth

• Suicide is the sixth leading cause of death among those 5-14 years old.
• Suicide is the third leading cause of death among those 15-24 years old.
• Between the mid-1950s and the late 1970s, the suicide rate among U.S. males aged 15-24 more than tripled (from 6.3 per 100,000 in 1955 to 21.3 in 1977). Among females aged 15-24, the rate more than doubled during this period (from 2.0 to 5.2). The youth suicide rate generally leveled off during the 1980s and early 1990s, and since the mid-1990s has been steadily decreasing.
• Between 1980-1996, the suicide rate for African-American males aged 15-19 has also doubled.
• Risk factors for suicide among the young include suicidal thoughts, psychiatric disorders (such as depression, impulsive aggressive behavior, bipolar disorder, certain anxiety disorders), drug and/or alcohol abuse and previous suicide attempts, with the risk increased if there is situational stress and access to firearms.

Older People

• The suicide rates for men rise with age, most significantly after age 65.
• The rate of suicide in men 65+ is seven times that of females who are 65+.
• The suicide rates for women peak between the ages of 45-54 years old, and again after age 75.
• About 60 percent of elderly patients who take their own lives see their primary care physician within a few months of their death.
• Six to 9 percent of older Americans who are in a primary care setting suffer from major depression.
• More than 30 percent of patients suffering from major depression report suicidal ideation.
• Risk factors for suicide among the elderly include: a previous attempt, the presence of a mental illness, the presence of a physical illness, social isolation (some studies have shown this is especially so in older males who are recently widowed) and access to means, such as the availability of firearms in the home.

What are the warning signs for suicide?  (Copied from the Cleveland Clinic)

1. Following are some of the possible warning signs that a person may be at risk for suicide:
2. Excessive sadness or moodiness — Long-lasting sadness and mood swings can be symptoms of depression, a major risk factor for suicide.
3. Sudden calmness — Suddenly becoming calm after a period of depression or moodiness can be a sign that the person has made a decision to end his or her life.
4. Withdrawal — Choosing to be alone and avoiding friends or social activities also are possible symptoms of depression. This includes the loss of interest or pleasure in activities the person previously enjoyed.
5. Changes in personality and/or appearance — A person who is considering suicide might exhibit a change in attitude or behavior, such as speaking or moving with unusual speed or slowness. In addition, the person might suddenly become less concerned about his or her personal appearance.
6. Dangerous or self-harmful behavior — Potentially dangerous behavior, such as reckless driving, engaging in unsafe sex, and increased use of drugs and/or alcohol might indicate that the person no longer values his or her life.
7. Recent trauma or life crisis — A major life crises might trigger a suicide attempt. Crises include the death of a loved one or pet, divorce or break-up of a relationship, diagnosis of a major illness, loss of a job, or serious financial problems.
8. Making preparations — Often, a person considering suicide will begin to put his or her personal business in order. This might include visiting friends and family members, giving away personal possessions, making a will, and cleaning up his or her room or home. Some people will write a note before committing suicide.
9. Threatening suicide — Not everyone who is considering suicide will say so, and not everyone who threatens suicide will follow through with it. However, every threat of suicide should be taken seriously.

What should I do if someone I know is talking about committing suicide?

1. If someone you know is threatening suicide, take the threat seriously.
2. Do not leave the person alone. If possible, ask for help from friends or other family members.
3. Ask the person to give you any weapons he or she might have. Take away sharp objects or anything else that the person could use to hurt himself or herself.
4. Try to keep the person as calm as possible.
5. Call 911 or take the person to an emergency room.

Suicide is a silent killer....if it wasn't silent we could prevent more of them.  Often we don't even realize a person is thinking of suicide.  Maybe if we understand the statistics and signs to watch out for we can be part of the solution.

Great song about suicide and tribute to some who have lost their lives. Please watch, listen and learn.  Be strong, be aware and be part of the solution.

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Part of the problem or part of the SOLUTION: Child abuse and neglect

Five (5) children each DAY die of child abuse or neglect.  (Childhelp)

3.3 million reports
6 million children abused

The numbers are staggering.  We are supposed to be a civilized Country but we are destroying our future by destroying our children.

Copied directly from Childhelp website:  (This information belongs to Childhelp.  For more information you can go directly to their page)

• A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds
• *More than five children die every day as a result of child abuse.² 
• Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4. ¹
• It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates. ³
• More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way. ⁴
• Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
• About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. ⁵
• About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder. ⁵
• The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States for 2008 is $124 billion. ⁶

• 14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children. ⁷
• 36% of all women in prison were abused as children. ⁷
• Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent crime. ⁵
• 
  

• Abused children are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy. ⁵
• Abused teens are less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for STDs. 

• One-third to two-thirds of child maltreatment cases involve substance use to some degree. ⁸
• Children whose parents abuse alcohol and other drugs are three times more likely to be abused and more than four times more likely to be neglected than children from non-abusing families. ⁸
• As many as two-thirds of the people in treatment for drug abuse reported being abused or neglected as children. ¹⁰
• 
  

Signs of Child Abuse and Neglect:

Recognizing Child Abuse (Copied directly from U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.  This information belongs to them)

The following signs may signal the presence of child abuse or neglect.
The Child:

• Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance
• Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parents' attention
• Has learning problems (or difficulty concentrating) that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes
• Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen
• Lacks adult supervision
• Is overly compliant, passive, or withdrawn
• Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home

The Parent:

• Shows little concern for the child
• Denies the existence of—or blames the child for—the child's problems in school or at home
• Asks teachers or other caregivers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves
• Sees the child as entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome
• Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
• Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of emotional needs

The Parent and Child:

• Rarely touch or look at each other
• Consider their relationship entirely negative
• State that they do not like each other

Types of Abuse

The following are some signs often associated with particular types of child abuse and neglect: physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. It is important to note, however, that these types of abuse are more typically found in combination than alone. A physically abused child, for example, is often emotionally abused as well, and a sexually abused child also may be neglected.

Signs of Physical Abuse

Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the child:
Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes
Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after an absence from school
Seems frightened of the parents and protests or cries when it is time to go home
Shrinks at the approach of adults
Reports injury by a parent or another adult caregiver

Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver:
Offers conflicting, unconvincing, or no explanation for the child's injury
Describes the child as "evil," or in some other very negative way
Uses harsh physical discipline with the child
Has a history of abuse as a child

Signs of Neglect

Consider the possibility of neglect when the child:
Is frequently absent from school
Begs or steals food or money
Lacks needed medical or dental care, immunizations, or glasses
Is consistently dirty and has severe body odor
Lacks sufficient clothing for the weather
Abuses alcohol or other drugs
States that there is no one at home to provide care

Consider the possibility of neglect when the parent or other adult caregiver:
Appears to be indifferent to the child
Seems apathetic or depressed
Behaves irrationally or in a bizarre manner
Is abusing alcohol or other drugs

Signs of Sexual Abuse

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the child:
Has difficulty walking or sitting
Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities
Reports nightmares or bedwetting
Experiences a sudden change in appetite
Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior
Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14
Runs away
Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver:
Is unduly protective of the child or severely limits the child's contact with other children, especially of the opposite sex
Is secretive and isolated
Is jealous or controlling with family members

Signs of Emotional Maltreatment

Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the child:
Shows extremes in behavior, such as overly compliant or demanding behavior, extreme passivity, or aggression
Is either inappropriately adult (parenting other children, for example) or inappropriately infantile (frequently rocking or head-banging, for example)
Is delayed in physical or emotional development
Has attempted suicide
Reports a lack of attachment to the parent

Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the parent or other adult caregiver:
Constantly blames, belittles, or berates the child
Is unconcerned about the child and refuses to consider offers of help for the child's problems
Overtly rejects the child

This is a lot of information...but it is information that can save a life!  I apologize for coping word for word but it is important that we all recognize & understand what is going, and honestly they said it best, on and be part of the solution!!

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Watch this video warning:  it is hearbreaking