What's in it for you?

Every day I go through life wondering if what I do makes a difference.  I try to change the lives of others by simple acts of kindness and large gestures but does it really change anything?

I remember the story of the NYC cop who went in to buy a homeless man a pair of boots.  What a fantastic story.  You can read about that (and watch the video) HERE.  Now what is being reported is he really isn't homeless:  That story HERE.

I haven't been able to verify any news stations that say he isn't homeless but that isn't the point.  The point is we try to do what is right and whether we learn we were "scammed" or not the feeling we get should remain with us.


There are stories that say the man got rid of the boots for his safety; he was afraid to wear them because someone may take them from him.  That story can be read HERE.

My problem is this....do we ever really know if what we are doing really changes someone's life? AND...should that matter?

I know some people who won't help because there are too many out there who scam....so they don't help anyone.  I had a good friend (a long time ago) that told me his Uncle was a professional homeless man.  He lived in a half a million dollar home, drove a $50,000 car and every day he would get in his "homeless" clothes and hit the streets.  He obviously made a very good living at being homeless.  I have to admit that I was "shaken" when I heard this and for a while stopped helping others because I couldn't get the image of my friend's Uncle out of my mind.

I learned one thing during this.....I didn't feel good.  That feeling I used to have when I was able to give a few dollars to someone who "appeared" homeless was no longer there.  So I changed my approach. If someone was asking for money so they could eat...I bought them food.  This worked...for a while but I felt "tainted" every time I did this.  

I went to a restaurant and saw a man standing there, with his dog, and a sign that said will work for food.  I had just finished picking up dog food and thought, "This is a sign."  I opened my trunk and offered the man all the moist dog food he could carry and even offered to put the dry in a bag (easier to carry with him than a 20 pound bag).  I was saddened when he said I would rather you give me some money because he eats what I eat and we can go get a few burgers.  This bothered me for many weeks. I didn't give him any money, I didn't give him any dog food and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I didn't have the same "feeling" I used to have.  So as I grew "wiser" I had to figure out what I can do to get that feeling back.  I have decided that no matter what their situation is; scamming or not, if I can help I will because it is not about me...it is about human compassion and generosity.  If I help ten people and half scam me....well those five that I did help I have decided it was worth it.  

Now what I do.....if someone is standing on the corner with a sign and I am there with a red light I help.  I tell myself that if they "really" need the help I will be put in the position to help them.  I don't think about the scams anymore....I think about the one's who really need the help.  I have found that feeling has come back.  

So when I'm asked why I still help when I know someone may be scamming me.....I simply respond that it isn't about them, it is about me and the way it makes me feel thinking I could have changed the day for someone.  

So, what's in it for me?  I have that that feeling back and in the grand scheme of things....if you can do something for others and you can feel good about it, even if just a few minutes, life is good.  

Don't let the bad (or scammers) change who you are.  Don't let anything stop you from doing what you believe is right.  If you do something for someone out of kindness and later learn the situation wasn't what you thought to begin with....Don't let that change who you are and the compassion you showed. That can't be taken away unless you allow it.  

That is what is in it for me.

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