Another joke to finish the weekend....

Only those who can laugh at themselves will never be laughed at:  On that note:

Are blondes smarter than lawyers? You be the judge. A blonde and lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, very tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over toward the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists (as lawyers are wont to do) and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00 and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to the torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and Library of Congress, still no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, all to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches in her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Zeisler & Associaties, Attorneys At Law, PC

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The Lighter Side of Lawyers...Joke of the Day

This has been around a bit but it is so funny it needed to be said again.

All the Truth and nothing but the truth

In a small village court the lawyer for the prosecution called his first witness. A very old lady and grandmother stood in place and the lawyer began to ask:

"Mrs. White do you know me?"
She answered:
"Of course, I know you. I know you since you were a little boy and frankly you have undeceive me. You have always been blatantly, you cheated on your wife, manipulate people and badly discourse them when they leave. You think you're a great personality when you do not even have enough intelligence to avoid being scanned. Of course I know you."

The lawyer was white not knowing what to do. After thinking for a while he pointed to the other end of the room and asked:

"Mrs. White do you know the defense attorney?"

The old lady responds rigth away:
"Absolutely. I also know him since his childhood. He is a looser, has problems with drink and can not have a normal relationship with anyone, and as a lawyer... He is the worst one I have seen in my entire life. I also want to mention that he fools his wife with three different women, one of which, curiously, is your wife. Yes, I know him too. Absolutely."

The defender was in shock. The judge then asked both the lawyers to get closer to the bench and with a very weak voice he said to them:

freedigitalphotos.net

"If any of you two happen to ask the old goat if she knows me, I swear I´ll put you both in jail!"

Attorney's are like fruit:  Some are good and some are bad. 

You just need to know how to pick 'em.

Zeisler & Associaties, Attorneys At Law, PC
One of the "good" fruits :)

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